


The Importance of a Kiss

by grandmelon



Category: Free!
Genre: Christmas Party, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Past One-sided Nanase Haruka/Matsuoka Rin, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandmelon/pseuds/grandmelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kisses have all kinds of meanings, and you shouldn't throw them around carelessly. If you do, someone might get hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Childhood Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to make sure I finished this before New Year's since it's a late Christmas Party fic. It turned out differently then I originally thought it would, but it was still a lot of fun to write! I hope everyone enjoys! :)

First kisses are important. That’s what everyone told him, and he took it to heart. First kisses had to be given to someone you love, someone who will cherish it. The young Makoto soaked this information in like a sponge. First kisses are important.

 

Makoto is nine years old when he decides he wants to give his first kiss away. He loved only one person enough to kiss them, and that was his best friend, Nanase Haruka. They had been friends for as long as he could remember, and at age seven he had already become aware that his feelings for Haru were different than his feelings for his other friends. Haru was different, and Makoto always felt like he was walking on sunshine and clouds when he was near.

 

When Makoto was seven he had already figured out that his feelings weren’t a like, but a love. Makoto wasn’t stupid, and he knew himself. He didn’t say anything to Haru because, really, Haru should know. Haru and Makoto had been friends for so long and they sometimes could tell each other things without even saying anything. Makoto loved that.

 

Makoto is nine when he and Haru are watching a movie in the Nanase’s living room. Makoto’s parents and Haru’s parents went out to dinner, and Haru’s grandmother was watching them. She was a sweet old lady, Makoto liked her very much. Haru’s grandmother was in the kitchen making them dinner. On the screen Makoto saw the princess and the prince kiss, and it reminded him.

 

It reminded him of what he was told by his older friends on the playground a few days prior. Haru had been sick that day and Makoto had to trudge through the day without him, it was very lonely. Makoto had to hang out with his other friends by himself and they talked about kisses. Only the oldest friend, who had turned ten years old first, had kissed someone other than his family. Makoto’s eyes were wide with wonder. He wanted to give a kiss to Haru, because he loved Haru very much. Haru would cherish his first kiss, he knew he would.

 

That’s why Makoto turned to Haru and watched him stare at the television, paying attention to the story. His gaze did not go unnoticed, and soon Haru was looking back at Makoto, a question in his eyes.

 

“Haru-chan,” Makoto started. “Can I give you my first kiss?”

 

Makoto’s cheeks burned and Haru’s eyes widened just a fraction in surprise before they went back to normal.

 

“Why?” he asked.

 

Makoto duck his head, feeling embarrassed. He wasn’t sure what to tell Haru, but he really did want to kiss him. He twiddled his thumbs, trying to think of a reason. When he turned to look at Haru he saw that the older boy didn’t seem to be bothered.

 

“Because first kisses are important.” Makoto said, the reason just falling out of him naturally. “You need to cherish them, and Haru definitely will, right?”

 

Haru’s eyes glazed over, a sign he was thinking about what Makoto had said. After a little Haru nodded, and turned his body to face Makoto.

 

“Okay. Makoto will cherish mine, too.”

 

Makoto jumped up onto his knees, grabbing Haru’s hands.

 

“Of course I will!” he smiled. His lips were stretched from ear to ear. Haru was going to give Makoto his first kiss, too.

 

They stared at each other in silence, unsure of how to go about it. Haru was sitting with his knees up to his chest, just as he always did when they watched movies, and Makoto was sitting on his knees, hands clasping Haru’s. Makoto shuffled forward until his knees touched Haru’s toes. He leaned in over Haru’s bent legs and Haru leaned forward when he got that far. The kiss was soft, and gentle, and warm. Their noses bumped together, but it wasn’t at all unpleasant.

 

Their eyes had shut naturally, so when Makoto pulled back he had to force them open. His heart was soaring, and his face burning. His whole body was a shade of bright red. Makoto’s lips tingled pleasantly and he let his small tongue press against them, trying to calm them down. Haru’s eyes opened a moment later, sitting back again and his cheeks were dusted pink. Makoto smiled and Haru turned his head away, back to the movie. Haru had only let go of one hand, keeping the other tightly in his grasp. They watched the rest of the movie like that, with their tiny fingers wound together.

 

*                            *                            *

 

When Makoto is eleven he and Haru gained a new friend. His name was Rin and he was very interesting. Makoto liked him a lot, and he knew Haru secretly did too.

 

Makoto is eleven when rumors of girls his age running around stealing kisses reaches his mother’s ears. He is eleven when his mother sits him down after dinner to have a talk about kissing.

 

“It’s okay mom. I already gave my first kiss to Haru-chan,” Makoto smiled. He didn’t have to worry about losing his first kiss. After all, he had already given it to Haru long before.

 

His mother’s posture went ridged. His eyes widened in concern, his mom looked stiff in her chair.

 

“You and Haru kiss?” she asked, eyes filled with something he could not understand.

 

“No, we just gave each other our first kiss.”

 

His mother let out a breath she had been holding, her posture hunched over. Looking very tired, she picked herself up in her seat again. She was not expecting this when she had heard about the kissing problem at her son’s school.

 

“Makoto, you aren’t supposed to kiss friends,” she informed. The boy only smiled, swinging his legs in his chair.

 

“Of course not,” he agreed. The response made her more worried than anything else. She was going to speak again when Makoto continued on, tilting his head, gaze far away. His cheeks went pink. “I love Haru, so it’s okay.”

 

His mother’s brain stuttered. She had to collect herself, think about what she was going to say. She was at a complete loss to the situation.

 

“Makoto, love comes in different forms,” she started carefully. She didn’t want to make her son feel bad.

 

“Yup,” he smiled at her. “The way I love my friends and the way I love you and dad and Ren and Ran is different. I love everyone, but it’s not like Haru. I really love Haru.”

 

Her eyes were so open they ached. It seemed her little boy did like Haru in a different way. She had seen signs of it, but ignored them. He was her first child, she didn’t know if what she was seeing was unusual or not for childhood friends. Her mouth tightened into a frown. She loved her child, but she was also incredibly worried for him.

 

“Makoto, it’s okay if you love Haru. I’ll love you no matter what, but liking boys is,” she trailed off, trying to find the right words. “If you like boys, life will be very difficult. People don’t treat boys who like boys kindly. You might get teased or hurt.”

 

The small boy’s eyes widened just a fraction before they went down to the table, his smile disappeared in an instant.

 

“It really is wrong?”

 

“No! No it’s not wrong,” she backtracked. Even when she was trying her best she was still hurting her baby. She chastised herself for not having realized what words like that insinuated.

 

“But that’s what Tadashi said when Haru and I still held hands,” Makoto whispered. Tears started to drip down into his lap. His head was bowed. She felt her breath catch in her throat.

 

“Haru told me not to listen.” He said more to himself than his mother. Haru was protecting him, but shortly after that Makoto and Haru stopped holding hands, and Haru started telling Makoto he couldn’t call him Haru-chan. Maybe Haru was thinking about the things his mom was talking about.

 

“Makoto,” his mom whispered. She stood up and walked over to her son, placing his small cheeks in her hands. She gave the boy a reassuring smile.

 

“Makoto, it’s okay to love boys. There’s nothing wrong with it. People, they’re just afraid. They’re afraid of what doesn’t make sense to them.”

 

Makoto cried in silence, wringing his fingers together.

 

“Mom’s not afraid?”

 

“Not at all,” his mother shook her head. “You’re my son, aren’t you? Honestly, how could I ever be afraid of you? You’re perfect just the way you are. If you do like other boys, then that’s fine too. I’m a bad mother for not noticing.” Makoto jolted, he grabbed his mother’s hands in his.

 

“You’re not a bad mother! You’re the best mother ever!” he instead urgently. His mother laughed and wiped his tears before pulling him into a tight hug.

 

“My sweet boy,” she whispered, kissing his forehead. She picked him up off his seat and Makoto squeaked.

 

His mom had stopped carrying him when he was six, yet here she was carrying him and he was nearly twelve years old. She walked them into the living room where they sat on the couch. The twins were busying themselves with toy blocks on the floor, his father watching them from his chair, book in hand.

 

“Honey, I have something to tell you.” She said, glancing over to her husband. He looked up from his book at her, eyebrows rising at the sight of her with their eleven year old curled up in her lap.

 

“Alright,” he said. He placed his book on the coffee table. The twins blubbered and yelled at each other, fighting over something in the background.

 

“Our son likes boys.”

 

His eyes went wide as he processed the information. He sat in silence, and saw his first born clinging onto his mother’s shirt, crying. He was afraid of the answer. He took in a deep breath and let it out.

 

“Okay, he’s your son.”

 

“Our son,” she corrected. His eyes returned to the crying boy and he got up. He walked over to them, sitting down on the couch. He sighed again, hearing the whimpers of his sweet, gentle hearted son. He wrapped his arms around the two.

 

“He’s our son.” He confirmed. Makoto cried out before throwing his arms around his dad. He smiled at the boy. He didn’t want his first born, the one who gave him no problems in all years of his life, a reason to feel so upset.

 

They pulled away and Makoto’s crying digressed into upset hiccups. His mother sighed, leaning her head against his.

 

“Now that we have that behind us, there’s the thing about kissing.” She said, and Makoto looked up at her confused.

 

“Makoto, all kisses are important, not just the first ones. You can only kiss people you really love. Your family and your loved one should be the only one to receive kisses, understand that? You shouldn’t give them out thoughtlessly.” Makoto nodded, understanding what his mom was trying to say.

 

“And please,” she added. “Don’t go kissing anyone else until you’re older. Kids should be kids for as long as they can, you shouldn’t be kissing anyone until you’re older. Understand?” Makoto nodded again, smiling.

 

“How old is older?” Makoto asked curiously. His mother gave him a look before seeing that he was genuinely curious, and wasn’t planning on anything.

 

“Sixteen at least,” she supplied. She turned to her husband who just shrugged, uncaring towards the situation.

 

“Okay. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about the girls trying to steal kisses at school. I only want to kiss Haru-chan anyways.” He reassured with a smile. Makoto father’s face suddenly showed realization before exasperation. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t suspected it.

 

“Well you should be more aware, and tell Haru that too. I can’t believe these girls are doing that in the first place, it’s ridiculous. If you boys were running around doing the same thing I’d have to give you a good smack.” She scowled, thinking about what kind of parents were raising, or failing to raise, these children.

 

Makoto paled at the thought. His mother had never spanked him, but the twins needed a few good pats on the butt to stop them from trying to play with things or do things they shouldn’t. He knew that they didn’t really hurt, but the idea was still a bit frightening. Makoto really hated the idea of pain.

 

“Alright you little pains, it’s time for your bath.” His mother cooed, getting up off the couch. Makoto scrambled to get off her lap before she did so. She scooped up the two who giggled and squirmed in her arms, chanting no like it was their favorite word.

 

Makoto’s father ruffled his hair before returning to his chair and picking up his book.

 

He sat on the couch smiling, he felt like the whole world was brighter than it was before.

 

*                            *                            *

 

Makoto is still just eleven when his world falls apart. His good friend Rin tells him that he’s leaving after the relay, and they won’t be seeing each other for a very long time. Rin is going to Australia to swim. This saddens Makoto, but he has Haru so he knows he’ll get through it. They had a wonderful relay, and Makoto is so happy he could cry. The relay was so fun he thought he was floating in his own happiness.

 

That happiness was short lived.

 

After getting changed he had to go out to see his parents. Haru said it was fine for him to go instead of wait, and so he did. His parents congratulated him and asked if he wanted to go out to eat. He declined, and told them he’d leave with Haru after they said a final goodbye to Rin. His parents shot the boy a grateful smile, the twins had been kicking up a fuss in their boredom and they wanted to take them home as quick as possible.

 

While walking around to look for Haru and Rin he found Nagisa talking with his sisters. They waved to each other before Makoto continued his search. He didn’t find them in the locker room, and they weren’t in the showers. Makoto was just about to give up and go find Nagisa again when he saw a tuff of dark hair. There at the exit of the locker room was Haru and Rin. Makoto wondered how he could have missed them, but the locker room and shower were both very big.

 

“Haru,” a quiet voice said. Makoto’s body froze for reasons beyond him. Rin had never called Haru by his first name before, it stunned him into silence. He had just been about to call out to the two, but found his feet glued to the ground and his mouth sealed shut.

 

“Can I give you a goodbye kiss?”

 

Makoto felt his arms and legs go cold. A kiss? Rin wanted a kiss from Haru?

 

“Okay,” answered his best friend.

 

His tummy swirled uncomfortably. He felt a knot growing in his throat. He felt awful, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. It felt like he was falling off a cliff. His stomach dropped painfully as he watched his two friends kiss. Seconds felt like hours and Makoto tried to direct his gaze away, but couldn’t. When they pulled apart Rin had tears in his eyes, and his voice sounded like he was choking them back.

 

“Can I give you a few more?”

 

Haru nodded and they kissed again, and again, and again until Rin finally calmed down. Makoto was the one crying now, silent tears falling down his cheeks. They picked their bags up off the floor before exiting the room. When the door slammed back shut Makoto cried silently into his hands, gasping for breath. Haru and Rin, they were kissing. Haru kissed Rin. They had kissed so many times, too. Makoto felt his shaky legs carry him out the emergency exit. His body did not feel like his own.

 

For the smallest of seconds he felt afraid of using it, he was always worried about breaking unspoken rules. You only use emergency exits for emergencies, but he didn’t want to see Rin and Haru. He couldn’t see Rin and Haru right now. He felt bad, he felt awful. He wanted to say goodbye to Rin too, but he would only be upset.

 

His legs carried him home in a quick pace. He was huffing and puffing when he reached his house. He slipped off his shoes and ran into his room, shutting the door. He jumped onto his bed and finally let out his wails and whimpers.

 

He heard the door click open but he just shoved his face further into his pillow.

 

“Makoto, dear, are you alright?” his mother asked. Makoto tried to breathe.

 

“I’m okay, can you just,” he sucked in another breath. “Can you leave mom? I’ll be okay.”

 

His mother watched him apprehensively before she shut the door. He could hear his mother and father talk just outside his room. They were trying to figure out why Makoto was so upset, until they decided it was likely because Rin was leaving tomorrow.

 

They left him alone until dinner. Makoto just tried to get through it, clinging onto their theory that he was upset because Rin was leaving. He didn’t want to tell them the real reason why. He was upset about his friend leaving, but now he didn’t feel it. He only felt cold, like his whole body was in an ice bath.

 

Makoto was just eleven when he had his heart break.


	2. A Christmas Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have a late Christmas party and the conversation goes from holidays and missing mistletoe to first kisses and talk of significant others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to split this chapter up into two so it wouldn't be ridiculously long, hopefully it reads well.

Makoto got over his heartbreak by avoiding it. He likes Rin, doesn’t want to hate Rin, so he just reminds himself that Rin isn’t there. He dealt with the sadness of Rin’s absence better than the hurt he’d feel if he was there. Haru was okay until middle school, when Rin and Haru had a race, he later learns. Haru had quit swimming competitively after that and Makoto followed with a heavy heart. Even after Rin left everything still hurt, Haru still hurt.

 

Makoto decided he would rather have Rin and Haru happy together than them broken apart. Makoto would rather sacrifice his own happiness if it meant that Haru would smile again, would swim again. He would learn to be okay with their relationship if it meant Haru’s happiness.

 

They got through middle school, and the first year of high school, and soon after Nagisa came back into their lives. Haru started swimming again, they met Rin again, and Makoto had to watch. He had to watch them tear at each other. He had to watch them hurt each other and try to control the damage.

 

Makoto’s proud he hadn’t cried once Rin came back, proud he could separate his feelings about Haru and Rin from his feelings for Rin.

 

They got through the year and Rin was their friend again, and everything fell back into place. All at once Makoto had no other dramas to worry about other than his own. He had nothing he could use to block out the fact that Rin and Haru were good friends again. Makoto was so happy they’re all friends but he was also so hurt, too. Their last year of high school started with the coming of new drama, and Makoto could ignore the feelings he’d placed at the very back of his mind.

 

They got through the summer and so much happened Makoto still can’t understand it.

 

Haru broke down, and Makoto couldn’t do anything to stop it. It was Rin who fixed him. It was Rin who took Haru to Australia and brought him back all shinny and new again.

 

September brought club retirements and studying, but they still all made time for each other. Haru was swimming and training every day. Sometimes he’d go to Samezuka to train with Rin and other times Rin would come to Iwatobi SC RETURNS. Sometimes Makoto felt like his stomach would always hurt for the rest of his life, and other times he wondered if the knot in his throat he gets when he thinks about saying something will be permanent.

 

Winter break came like a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because Makoto could finally take some time to relax, and a curse because he couldn’t find it in himself to.

 

Haru’s parents had visited for the holidays but were quick to leave after Christmas. Haru never seems to mind when they do that, he always says that he prefers it when they are away. He did tell his parents about his plans when they had returned. Even Makoto couldn’t help but to smile at how happy he was to inform them of his dream.

 

They decided to have a late Christmas party at Haru’s and everyone came, including Rin. Gou and Chigusa, who was invited by Gou, left early. They had to catch the train to Chigusa’s house before it got too late. The rest of their group had already made plans to stay over.

 

It was so warm and so fun with Nagisa as their rambunctious leader. He led them into conversations and games, and Haru and Makoto just had to smile and follow along. For a while, Makoto even forgot all about Rin and Haru being anything more than friends. He forgot that he wanted anything more than to be Haru’s friend. He was always grateful for moments like that.

 

“Mistletoe is definitely the most important part of Christmas, Haru-chan!” Nagisa whined. He had been complaining nonstop since he noticed that there was no such plant hanging from anywhere in Haru’s house.

 

“Actually, Nagisa-kun, the most important part of Christmas in Japan is spending time with your loved ones,” Rei informed, fixing his glasses. Nagisa gawked at Rei.

 

“Of course Rei-chan! So why doesn’t Haru-chan have any mistletoe? How is anyone supposed to have an excuse to kiss if there’s no mistletoe!?” he cried. Rei looked flustered and baffled at his questions.

 

“Who wants to kiss you,” Rin laughed, pushing Nagisa over with his foot. Nagisa rolled onto the floor in a dramatic fashion.

 

“That’s so mean Rin-chan! I’ll have you know I had my first kiss under mistletoe! She pulled me right under it before I could even stop her! I was attacked! I’m too popular for my own good,” Nagisa grinned. Rin spit out his cola trying not to laugh.

 

“Are you sure you didn’t imagine that?” Nagisa threw a pillow at him playfully.

 

“No I didn’t! It happened! It was Chika-chan from elementary school.”

 

“Never heard of her,” Rin smirked. Rin turned his attention to Rei. The bespectacled boy was making some ridiculous faces while he was thinking about something. A nod concluded his thoughts, crossing his arms meaningfully before he spoke up.

 

“That’s very beautiful, Nagisa-kun. Having your first kiss under mistletoe,” he informed with another quick nod. Nagisa threw his arms around Rei’s neck, causing the other boy to squawk in surprise.

 

“Isn’t it Rei-chan? What was your first kiss like? Was it super beautiful? Was it awful? Did you get spit everywhere Rei-chan? Did you get slapped?” Nagisa asked excitedly, Rei sputtering at each question.

 

“I did not! I mean, I have not.” Nagisa screamed with glee.

 

“Rei-chan is a kissing virgin!?” he cheered.

 

“That’s not!” Rei tried, but everyone was already laughing at Nagisa’s exclamation.

 

“Nagisa, that’s not nice. You shouldn’t tease him like that. Rei just hasn’t had his first kiss. It’s not that big of a deal.” Makoto smiled, always the one to try and calm things down. Rei looked at him gratefully and Nagisa grumbled.

 

“Mako-chan is a party pooper.” Makoto smiled back, long used to the energetic boy’s teasing insults.

 

Nagisa turned to find a different victim, knowing well that Makoto wouldn’t let him pick on Rei for much longer. He launched himself at Rin, sliding up to his side.

 

“So Rin-chan, who was your first kiss?” he asked, dropping his voice low. He held up a candy stick like a microphone and held it in front of the other. Rin jumped, face turning red.

 

“Why do I have to tell you?” he barked, stubbornly trying to avoid Nagisa’s probing. Rin should have known better, when you denied answering him it only made Nagisa more interested.

 

“Could it be Rin-chan is also a kissing virgin?” He laughed, knowing how to tease the boy to make him snap. It worked. Rin snatched the candy cane out of his hand and snapped it in half before handing it back. Nagisa pouted, holding the broken candy in his hand with a pitiful expression.

 

“It doesn’t matter anyways, they probably forgot all about it,” he grumbled.

 

Makoto was about to come to the rescue again when another voice spoke up.

 

“I didn’t forget,” Haru quipped. His eyes looked playful, and Makoto felt all of the sweets he had so happily filled his stomach with sour.

 

Nagisa froze mid bounce, and so did everyone else. Rin was the first to recover, face turning a bright shade of red. Nagisa was the second, and everyone’s ears started ringing from his high-pitched yell.

 

“No way! Haru-chan and Rin-chan!? How’d it happen!? Who asked who!? Was there tongue involved!?” He jumped up and down. Rei was trying to cover his face without touching his glasses, glancing between the boys.

 

Haru shrugged, and Makoto could tell he was laughing on the inside.

 

“We were still in elementary school. He was crying about the girls in our class, worried they’d steal his first kiss.” Haru informed them with laughter in his eyes and a smile on his mouth. Rin tossed a bag of chips at him. The crispy pieces fell all around, and Haru really did laugh at the noises coming out of Rin’s mouth. It was a small laugh, and it would have warmed Makoto if he didn't feel so cold.

 

“I was not crying!” Rin screeched.

 

Makoto felt like puking, his whole body was numb. Rin and Haru had kissed before the time Makoto saw. How many other times did they kiss while he wasn’t around? His fingers were numb and cold.

 

Haru shrugged and Nagisa redirected their conversation to Makoto who suddenly felt bare, exposed. He thought he saw something flicker through Haru’s eyes when they turned to him, but he was busy trying to decipher what Nagisa had asked. When the words finally made sense he tried to force a smile on his face but felt it lopsided and uncomfortable. He had to try and act normal.

 

“Haru was my first kiss, too.”

 

Nagisa was shaking Rei with glee and complaining about how his first kiss wasn’t from Haru. Rin was staring at Makoto, equal parts embarrassed and surprised. Haru was staring at him with something indescribable in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck under their scrutiny, feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation.

 

Makoto barely heard Haru tell the group that Makoto was his first kiss too, but he saw Rin’s expression change to astonishment. No one else seemed surprised and it felt like a sick confirmation in his gut. Rin still liked Haru, maybe Haru still liked Rin. Maybe they were together and what shocked Rin was that Haru had kissed Makoto at all.

 

The conversation derailed in seconds and Makoto couldn’t even bother to follow it. He saw the clock hand move from fifteen-of all the way to fifteen-after and he finally was able to pay attention again. He noticed a few fleeting glances from Haru, but his tired mind couldn’t keep up. He wasn’t sure if he was finally ready to focus again and just had awful timing or if he was still in a daze but his brain just zoned in on those words.

 

“So Rin-chan does have someone he likes,” Nagisa giggled, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

 

“Nagisa-kun you shouldn’t bother Rin-san. If he doesn’t want to speak about it then he doesn’t have to.” Rei said with a firm nod, pushing up his glasses.

 

“Rei-chan stop being so lame. Come on Rin-chan, at least tell us a little about him?” Nagisa asked with large puppy dog eyes. Rin shuffled away from the boy, letting out a frustrated breath.

 

“Fine, fine. Just back off already, jeez.” He said while pushing the boy off his leg, where he had clung on desperately.

 

“I won’t let go till you tell us! Rin-chan is trying to deceive me,” Nagisa cried dramatically, laughter lacing his voice. Rin found himself smiling a bit at the boy’s antics.

 

“Well, I’ve known him since elementary school.” Rin said, turning his head away from the group. His face was a hot red and Haru hummed in response. It seemed like Haru knew something, but wasn’t saying anything. Makoto felt his anxiety settle into his bones, almost muted but still so painful.

 

“Elementary school!? Then we should know him!” Nagisa cheered, releasing Rin’s leg a bit. Rin huffed.

 

“So, maybe you do, now get off. I told you enough already.” Rin was terribly embarrassed.

 

“Does he swim?” Nagisa asked with a devilish grin on his face. Rin stopped, gave a jerky nod and yanked his leg out of Nagisa’s grasp.

 

“He swims! We most know him! Help me Rei-chan, we have to find out who Rin-chan is dating!”

 

“What are you talking about Nagisa-kun! That’s a breach of privacy!” Rei yelled.

 

He didn’t look or hear any of the other responses, he had had enough. He felt sick and couldn’t stand it anymore. Haru and Rin were together, it was why Haru could say those things, why Haru hummed when Rin talked about his boyfriend. His boyfriend who he knew since elementary school, his boyfriend who swims.

 

Makoto stood up and walked out of the living room. He slipped on his shoes and left the house in a quiet hurry. The moon and the scarce lamplights lit his path down the stairs and away.


	3. Apologies Needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True friends are there to help you through, even if they're apart of the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is like double the length of the others, but there was no real good way to split it. There is no doubt in my mind that Haru and Rin are the leaders of the Protect Makoto Tachibana squad. Protect that child at all costs. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope everyone finishes off 2014 on a good note! :) It's been a rough year for most, but next year will surely be better!

 

The icy night air did nothing for Makoto, he felt nothing. He only felt cold daggers twisting his stomach apart. Without knowing his direction, he walked. He walked and walked until he was standing on the beach, staring out at the unforgiving ocean.

 

Sprays of water like sharp glass and needles pierced his skin when he got to close, the wind mercilessly swiping the spray towards him. When a surge of freezing water came up to his caves he snapped out of his daze. He backed up away from the angry waves until the water couldn’t reach him.

 

Makoto crumpled under the cold wind, pulling himself into a ball before letting out tears. Tears he had been holding since the first time he saw Rin and Haru kiss. Tears he had been trying to hide since his heart had been shattered so many years ago. Everything was too much, he had bottled it up for too long and it was pouring out of him in one violent rush.

 

“Makoto!” he heard his name being called. He covered his ears with his trembling hands. He didn’t want to be found.

 

“Makoto!” the voice called louder.

 

“Makoto!” A different voice cried and Makoto’s body stilled. His violent shaking subsided to trembles and he felt his breath escape him.

 

Rapid footsteps slipping in sand and the rustle of synthetic winter jackets made it through Makoto’s fingers. Two strong hands gripped Makoto’s arms and forcefully picked him up out of his balled up position.

 

“Makoto! What’s wrong, are you okay!? Why’d you leave!? Why are you out here without a jacket!?” Rin cried out in alarm, looking over him before settling on his eyes. Rin’s mouth opened up in shock. Makoto couldn’t hide the streams of tears that let the wind burn his skin with its arctic temperatures.

 

“Makoto?” Haru asked, eyes wild with fear. In his arms was Makoto’s jacket. Rin quickly grabbed it from Haru and wrapped Makoto in it, rubbing his cold arms, swearing under his breath when he caught sight of Makoto’s sandy, soaked pants and shoes.

 

“You’re freezing! And you’re fucking wet! Are you trying to get yourself killed!?” Rin yelled, grabbing the boy by the arm, yanking him away from the beach.

 

Makoto followed clumsily, emptily, like a child who couldn’t deny they did wrong. Haru followed them back to his house, jogging in front of them to open the back door. He ran into the bathroom, not bothering to take off his shoes, leaving a trail of wet sand behind him. Rin pushed Makoto inside and soon they were in the bathroom with Haru. Rin and Haru busied themselves with getting Makoto out of his cold, wet clothes.

 

“Shit, Makoto, you’re as pale as goddamn ghost!” Rin hissed under his breath, alarm in his eyes. Makoto’s lips and fingers were purple.

 

They pushed the lifeless boy into the bathtub and Haru turned the hot water filling the tub into a shower and slumped to the floor as it washed over Makoto. Rin fell onto his knees too, sitting close to the tub and exchanging fearful glances with Haru.

 

Makoto curled back into a ball, whispering sorry like a personal mantra.

 

“What happened?” Rin asked, knowing Haru was too shook up to speak.

 

Makoto let out a choked sob. Rin was too kind. He could never hate Rin, even if Rin took Haru away. Rin was such a good friend and yet here Makoto was, acting like a spoiled brat. He reprimanded himself, ashamed that he had brought this upon his friends.

 

“Makoto,” Haru whispered, hand touching his bare shoulder. His skin had finally started warming up and color started returning to his face.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Makoto sobbed louder, squeezing his legs tighter, digging his face between his knees.

 

“Why are you sorry?” Rin asked surprised and worried.

 

“I’m sorry Haru. I love you Haru. I’m sorry,” he choked between his tears. Haru looked like he had been slapped, and Rin’s worry only increased.

 

“Makoto, it’s okay,” Haru finally spoke, breaking himself free from his shock. He squeezed Makoto’s shoulder reassuringly.

 

“It’s not!” Makoto shouted.

 

Haru’s hand recoiled and even Rin was stunned by the outburst. Makoto did not yell. Makoto wasn’t a person who yelled. Haru seemed in visible pain and Rin wondered if the fight they had during the past summer was still on his mind.

 

“It’s not okay, it’s not,” he cried.

 

Haru sat up on his knees and grabbed Makoto’s hand which was digging permanent indents in his leg.

 

“It is. It is okay. I love Makoto too,” Haru said firmly.

 

Makoto shook his head, his trembling progressing into violent shakes. He tried to speak but the words stuttered in his throat and he willed himself to calm down, breathing harshly through his nose to steady his tears enough so he could speak clearly. Haru and Rin watched, afraid of how little their friend was breathing properly, how shaken he was.

“You love Rin,” he responded. “You love Rin, you don’t love me.”

 

“Rin?” Haru’s eyes widened in shock, and even Rin was staring at the sobbing boy in confusion.

 

“You kissed him,” Makoto whimpered.

 

“That, it wasn’t like that!” Rin started, mind finally making connections between the earlier conversation and Makoto’s strange behavior.

 

“You kissed him!” Makoto snapped. “I saw you kiss him,” he cried.

 

Rin and Haru’s confusion only increased. When Rin had asked Haru to take his first kiss they had been alone, Makoto was sick that day. Rin knew this by heart because it was why he had asked, if Makoto wasn’t around he could catch Haru alone.

 

“What are you talking about?” Haru asked, thinking similarly.

 

Makoto’s whole body tensed and he gasped for a breath. He ran his shaking hand through his wet hair, the streams of water running down his face as he tried to uncurl himself. It didn’t work. He just curled back up again, tighter. Makoto couldn’t do this, couldn’t look at them while they talked about this.

 

“I saw you,” his voice cracked. “I saw you two kiss before Rin left. Again and again and again and again. I saw,” his voice was breathless, choking on the tears in his own voice as he tried to pull air back into his lungs.

 

All of Haru’s color drained from his body. Rin felt his own heart stop in shock. Neither of them so much as breathed as they watched the boy sob miserably in Haru’s shower.

 

“When Rin left it was like you left too, Haru. Even before the race,” Makoto whimpered.

 

Haru willed himself to move, and entered the spray of the shower. Rin jumped back with a yelp, shocked by the spray of drops bouncing off Haru’s back. Haru wrapped his arms around Makoto tightly, tears falling out of his eyes and mixing with the water. The clothes on his back stuck to his skin uncomfortably different than his jammers.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Makoto, I’m sorry.” Haru whispered, hugging the boy into his chest.

 

“I love you Makoto,” he reassured, kissing his wet hair. “Rin and I are only friends, I only love Makoto.”

 

Makoto made an audible wail and Rin got closer to the two again, ignoring the stray water splattering around the room.

 

“Makoto, Haru and I aren’t like that. I’m dating Sousuke, and Haru’s always loved you. We thought you knew,” Rin confessed. Makoto choked on his own sob and Rin placed a hand on his wet back. Haru looked at Rin desperately, wondering what he should do. Rin stared back just as helplessly.

 

“It’s a lie,” Makoto whispered, still not believing it could be any other way. It had already been seven years. Seven years of knowing that Rin meant the most to Haru, and now they were trying to tell him he was wrong?

 

Haru made a distressed noise in his throat and Rin wracked his mind, trying to figure out how to make their friend believe them. The only thing he could think of was giving him the brutal truth, truth that Rin didn’t like thinking about, too embarrassed to talk about.

 

“Haru didn’t know about how important kisses are, Makoto. He let me kiss him just because he didn’t understand it. We didn’t kiss after that until I was leaving, and he only let that happen because I was upset. Haru didn’t hate my kisses, but he didn’t like them either. That’s because we’re friends. Haru never liked me any more than that. It’s always been you Makoto,” Rin confessed, feeling a little weird.

 

He thought he’d be more upset about admitting all that, but really he didn’t feel anything at all. It just felt like a fond childhood memory now. Rin smiled at the discovery, he knew his lingering feelings for Haru had also hurt Sousuke in the beginning. Now it was just Sousuke, only Sousuke. It almost felt like he never liked Haru in the first place.

 

“All kisses are important,” Haru whispered. Makoto’s sobbing came to a stop. His mother’s words echoed in his ear, overlapping with Haru. Haru appeared as if he understood and squeezed Makoto a little tighter.

 

“I hurt you and I hurt Rin because I didn’t know that, and I’m sorry. Makoto I’m sorry.”

 

Haru pulled away and watched as Makoto finally lifted his head. They stared at each other, taking in the sight of each other’s reddened eyes and tears masked by the streams of water. Haru leaned in and kissed Makoto, gentle but firm. Water spilled along the sides of their lips, sealed too tight to get through. Makoto’s eyes staid open, confused and upset but also amazed. Rin averted his own, feeling like he was invading something.

 

Haru pulled away with a content sigh and leveled his gaze with Makoto. Makoto felt his whole body melt under that look.

 

“I only want to kiss Makoto. I only love you.” Haru said, rubbing his thumbs along the bottom of Makoto’s eyes. They fluttered close under the feeling and Haru kissed his forehead.

 

“It’s meaningless without you,” he whispered.

 

Makoto’s tears started flowing for a different reason. He leaned down and cried into Haru’s wet shirt, letting out his relief and all of the emotions he had bottled up. Haru loved him.

 

“I love you. I love you,” he chanted between sobs. Haru clung onto him too, holding him close. He slid himself into the tub and the water spilled over the side. Rin jumped up to his feet and turned off the shower.

 

Rin grabbed some towels out of the cupboard and picked up the dirty wet clothes off the floor, cleaning up while his friends calmed down. Rin felt tired and a little sick, he had never meant to do this to his best friends. He sighed, finally taking off his socks and shoes and winter jacket. He picked Haru’s up out of the sink where it had been thrown and left the room to put them away.

 

When he returned Makoto was quiet and Haru seemed sated. Rin knocked on the wall to alert them he was there. Makoto looked up at him and his eyes glistened with the starting of fresh tears. Rin felt his own tears coming up but wiped them away.

 

“Thank you, Rin.”

 

Rin frowned. He had no reason to be thanked.

 

“Don’t, I’m just glad you two are okay. Honestly I was surprised about how you two acted earlier. I thought for sure you guys had gotten together already.” He tried a smirk but it fell into a fond smile. He loved his friends, he didn’t want them upset.

 

Makoto smiled back, tired painted his figure and soon Haru was pulling him up out of the cooling water.

 

“You’ll get sick,” Haru explained. Makoto chuckled.

 

“I’m usually the one saying that,” he grinned, voice a bit hoarse from crying.

 

Haru’s cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink and he grabbed the towels Rin had pulled out for them, patting Makoto dry. Makoto stood straight, blush climbing up from his legs all the way to his face. Haru pulled off his sopping wet clothes, revealing his jammers underneath, before drying himself off.

 

“Rin,” Haru turned to face the other boy. Rin understood and left the room. A large crash and yelling followed his exit and Haru glanced back at the door with wary eyes. Makoto also stared in the direction of the noise before Haru grabbed his attention again.

 

“Makoto, turn around,” the shorter boy instructed.

 

Makoto followed the order and felt goose bumps run up his arms and legs at the sound of wet jammers being dropped on the ground. Haru dried himself off before wrapping the towel tightly around his waist.

 

“Your turn,” he said before turning around.

 

Makoto peeled off his wet underwear and felt embarrassment creeping up his face, Rin and Haru had seen him in his silly Christmas boxer-briefs. He quickly patted himself dry before wrapping the towel around his waist. It’s not like he had wanted them, they were a gag gift from Nagisa for his birthday, telling him he had to prepare for Christmas early. Everyone had seen him get them anyways, there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

 

“Okay, done.”

 

“Good,” Haru said before pulling him out the bathroom and up the stairs.

 

Once they got inside Haru locked the door to keep Nagisa from barging in, as he was sometimes known to do. He turned on his heels as soon as he was finished and opened his dresser. He pulled out cloths from the top two drawers. Once he was fully dressed in his pajamas he opened up a drawer on the bottom and pulled out familiar, large sweat pants. He also pulled out a pair of underwear, a shirt, and a hoodie.

 

Makoto’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets as he was handed the clothes.

 

“Am I really that forgetful?” he asked, staring at his own clothes. He quickly slipped them on and saw Haru turn his head. A deep red colored the top of his cheeks.

 

“No, you aren’t. I took them,” he said, opening the door and walking out into the hall. Makoto followed a half second later, stunned.

 

“Took them?” he asked, and Haru kept his face pointed away.

 

“They feel nice.”

 

That was the last of that conversation as they went down stairs and saw a very drunk Nagisa holding a bottle of his parent’s liquor.

 

“Nagisa!?” Makoto cried. Rei was also looking peculiar, a deep flush on his cheeks. Rin was standing over them, picking up chip bags and candy wrappers that had exploded all over Haru’s living room floor.

 

“I had wondered why Nagisa didn’t follow us earlier,” Rin grimaced, pulling the near empty bottle of liquor out of his hands.

 

Haru’s frown was deeper than normal as he helped the other clean up. Makoto picked up a very tipsy Rei and tugged him onto the futons they had set up earlier. Rei looked grateful but couldn’t speak, words slurring into incomprehensible noises. Nagisa crawled onto Rei’s futon on his own, complaining about Rei getting special treatment. They were out like lights even before Makoto draped the blanket over them.

 

“Wasn’t that one of your parents’ full bottles, Haru?” Makoto asked, looking back at the two dead drunks. Haru sighed.

 

“It was for display,” he explained. Rin held up the strange bottle, it was certainly unusual looking. “They won’t notice.”

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that those two are going to be puking their brains up at the crack of dawn tomorrow,” Rin’s face scrunched up in disgust.

 

“How did he even get Rei to drink?” Makoto mused out loud. All three boys turned to the sleeping butterfly swimmer. Makoto bent down and pulled off his glasses, placing them on the coffee table.

 

“I don’t even want to know,” Rin sighed, pulling his futon far away from the pair. Haru followed suit, pulling the other futon up to Rin’s. Normally they would have the three make a large bed for the five to squeeze onto, but neither of the swimmers seemed keen on being close to the smelly, drunk duo.

 

“Makoto,” Haru called, patting the space between where Haru and Rin had placed themselves.

 

Makoto fidgeted a bit before turning off the light and walking over, sitting down. The room was still very bright from the Christmas lights, and he could see his friends clearly. Rin was lounged out on his futon, arms stuffed under his pillow. Haru was sitting up, but waiting expectantly for his best friend to lay down first. Makoto’s smile suffered from embarrassment before lying down, head finding the soft pillow Haru had placed there.

 

An arm and a leg swung over him on his left, and another arm hooked around his right. Rin had shifted onto his side, with his left arm wrapped around Makoto’s, pulling it into his chest. Haru was curled into his side, arm and leg clinging to him possessively. Makoto squeaked at the sudden contact and turned his head back and forth to see his two friends staring at him.

 

“I can’t believe he believed you liked me, Haru,” Rin said as he shifted, propping himself up onto his other arm so he could see over the boy.

 

“Makoto’s very negative,” Haru replied, supporting himself with his forearm. Makoto gaped between the two.

 

“I thought you guys had that whole silent communication thing, didn’t you tell him you loved him?” Rin asked, eyebrow raising and mouth slanted into a concerned frown.

 

“I did. He told me he loved me too, I don’t understand what went wrong.” Haru sighed, lamenting their lost communication.

“I’m right here!” Makoto cried, feeling weird that the two were talking above him, as though he wasn’t there.

 

“Maybe trust issues got in the way,” Rin offered. Haru’s eyes darkened before they lit up again.

 

“You’re right. It’s all your fault,” Haru deadpanned. Rin’s eyes went wide, stunned by the proclamation.

 

“My fault!?”

 

“Guys,” Makoto tried, hoping to get their attention.

 

“Your fault,” Haru nodded. Rin scowled.

 

“It’s your fault for not making it clear!”

 

“It’s your fault for kissing me even though you knew I didn’t like you.”

 

“It’s your fault you kissed me when you liked Makoto!”

 

“I didn’t know any better, you were taking advantage of me.” Rin stared at Haru in disbelief, before he saw a small twitch in Haru’s lips.

 

“Now you’re just messing with me!” Rin accused. Makoto sighed and tried to pull himself out of their embrace while they fought. They noticed right away and only tightened their hold.

 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Haru commanded. Makoto feel himself shiver under the voice. Rin made a gagging noise.

 

“You two are so gross. I can’t believe all the drama I had to go through because of you.” Haru’s gaze fixed back on Rin.

 

“Rin is the most dramatic. You cry too much,” Haru countered. Rin’s face lit up like the Christmas lights decorating the house.

 

“I do not!”

 

“Um,” Makoto started, trying to find a way out of their bickering. He was quiet literally trapped by the two.

 

“You do,” Haru stated with blank eyes. Rin glared, uncurling his arm from Makoto to smack Haru upside the head. Makoto’s free arm just snapped up to Rin’s wrist before he could succeed in doing so. Both boys finally drew their attention back to their taller friend.

 

“You two shouldn’t be fighting,” Makoto offered lamely. The two above him just huffed. Rin took his arm back and curled it around Makoto’s again. He shifted a little, ears burning bright.

 

“Why are you two,” Makoto trialed off.

 

“Because you think about stupid things,” Rin replied to the unfinished question. Haru nodded eyes holding a steady gaze with Makoto’s.

 

“Rin’s your friend just as much as mine,” Haru stated. Makoto flushed a little at the words. They were worried about him, that’s why they were encaging him.

 

“And Haru’s so in love with you it’s frightening,” Rin smirked. Haru just gave a subtle jab at Rin’s stomach, causing the boy to yelp in surprise.

 

“You brat!” Haru just turned his head, pointing his gaze away.

 

“Haru,” Makoto whined, not happy about having let Haru do exactly what he had stopped Rin from. Haru puffed out his cheeks in distaste before turning back to the two.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Rin snickered at his obedience. The corners of Haru’s mouth pulled down into a frown. His eyes showed signs of mischief and Makoto was about to warn Haru he shouldn’t tease Rin, but it was already too late.

 

“So, Yamazaki,” Haru let out a tiny grin as a sign of triumph when Rin promptly shut his mouth and turned three shades darker.

 

“What about him?” Rin spit, eyes flickering away from his friends. Makoto turned his attention to Rin.

 

“That’s right! Rin, you’re dating Yamazaki-kun?” Rin was going to snap at him before he saw the sincere curiosity in his eyes.

 

Rin clamped his mouth shut and groaned as he turned away from them, taking Makoto’s arm with him. Makoto yelped at the movement and the awkward angle his arm was being held at.

 

“So what if I am? You two are like that to,” he called over his shoulder. Makoto smiled at his embarrassed friend.

 

“I wish I had known,” Makoto admitted. Rin groaned in reply.

 

“Oh, that’s right, Haru you knew didn’t you?” he asked turning back to face his best friend. Haru shrugged a little before settling back down into the futon, curling up into Makoto’s side.

 

“They were acting like newlyweds at practice,” Haru recalled, a gentle smirk on his lips. Rin let go of Makoto’s arm flipping back to face them, half sitting up.

 

“You two have no room to talk! You two have acted like you’ve been married for years!”

 

“What!?” Makoto blurted out, embarrassment running so high he was sure he’d just combust.

 

“God, I can’t believe you didn’t get together earlier. It was sickening, you both had your love-struck eyes on whenever you were together, which, might I remind you, is always!” Rin sniped. Haru snorted at his complaining.

 

“Yamazaki’s looked at you the same way and for probably just as long,” Haru bit out, unimpressed with Rin’s hypocrisy. Rin’s mouth floundered, trying to get words out.

  
“What?”

 

Haru rolled his eyes physically and Makoto also put on a gentle, concerned smile.

 

“We met him too, in elementary school you know,” Haru reminded him with an indifferent gaze. Makoto chuckled at Rin’s confusion.

 

“Yeah, so?”

 

“It was kind of obvious, Rin,” Makoto confessed. Rin stared at them with surprised eyes.

 

“Huh?” Rin was dumbstruck. Haru let out a tiny groan that came out more like a huff.

 

“Giving Yamazaki a letter originally meant for me,” he sighed, as if disappointed. Rin’s gaping mouth finally closed shut and he sat up into a sitting position. His fiery eyes were dulled as he thought about things. He gazed back at his friends and let out a pathetic whimper.

 

“He’s liked me for that long?” Makoto let out an apologetic smile and Haru turned his head so he could look at Rin properly.

 

“Longer, probably,” he supplied.

 

Rin’s shoulders slumped and he scrambled up off the futon, going over to the coffee table and picking up his cell phone. He flopped back onto their bed, not watching where he was falling, which ended up being half on Makoto and crushing Haru’s arm which was still wrapped around him. Makoto’s air flew out of his lungs at the sudden weight, but he quickly adjusted. Haru grunted, uncomfortable with their position. Rin just flipped onto his stomach, purposefully pinning the two down as his fingers found Sousuke’s name.

 

“Get off, you’re heavy,” Haru complained. Rin ignored him, finally pressing the call button.

 

“Shut up, I’m barely on you.”

 

“Rin, you are a bit heavy,” Makoto apologized. Rin huffed and moved so that he was more on Makoto’s stomach and less on his ribcage. Makoto sucked in a deep breath, grateful for the weight having moved so he could breathe.

 

“Sousuke?” Rin chirped, the call finally connecting. Makoto and Haru couldn’t hear his response, but laid in silence as they watched their friend turn from a grumbling pain to a smiling mess.

 

“Sorry for calling so late, huh? Yeah. Yeah, actually I’m squishing him and Makoto right now. Huh? No they deserved it. Nagisa and Rei are passed out, they found Haru’s parent’s liquor. Yeah, no I didn’t.”

 

Haru and Makoto didn’t say anything when Rin brought his legs up into the air, crossing his ankles and waving them back and forth. They also didn’t say anything as Rin smiled into his palm or played with his hair. They only shared a knowing glance, and Haru saw Makoto finally realize how not in love with Haru Rin was.

 

He smiled a little to himself at that, enjoying that Makoto finally, truly believed it. Haru knew this would happen, Rin was way too obvious about it for Makoto to not understand. It’s why he didn’t object to his antics earlier. Haru placed a gentle kiss against his cheek, and he turned his attention to Haru with questions swimming in his eyes. Haru just kissed him again.

 

“Yeah, but anyways I called for a reason. Yeah. They apparently weren’t together, can you believe it? But we fixed that. Yeah it was pretty dramatic, but we’re getting off course again. I’ll tell you more next time. Mhm,” Rin hummed, gaze flitting down to Haru and Makoto who were about to go into another chaste kiss. Rin took the palm of his hand and planted it firm on Haru’s face, pushing him away. Haru grunted in anger and Rin chuckled as Makoto stared at the back of his hand in surprise.

 

“Don’t be gross while I’m right here, you look like idiots,” Rin whispered, pulling the phone away for him a second before turning his attention back to the boy on the other line.

 

“Huh? No, I was talking to them. They were being gross so I had to intervene. Yeah, ha ha. Okay, but seriously I need to ask you something, and you’re going to answer me truthfully alright?” Rin asked, lips pulling into a thin line. Makoto and Haru stopped their clowning around and watched their friend.

 

“How long have you been in love with me?”

 

Everything in the room was silent, and Makoto and Haru couldn’t even hear the vague noises coming from the phone like they had earlier. A muffled sound came from Rin’s speaker and Rin’s whole body shot up, bright, blistering red.

 

“Second grade!? We were like seven!” Rin hissed, turning away from his curious friends who had sat up with him. Sousuke’s muffled voice traveled through the air, and Makoto suddenly felt a little embarrassed being in the room. They were having a private conversation, after all.

 

“Are you, you’re serious?” Rin whispered, running a hand back through his hair. Disbelief and bewilderment laced his voice.

 

“Oh. Oh,” Rin mumbled. “Yeah, okay. No, that’s all I wanted to know. Yeah, goodnight.”

 

Haru balanced himself against Makoto’s shoulder, watching the scene lay before him. Makoto was trying to be more discreet about his curiosity.

 

“Yeah, I love you too,” Rin said in a rushed whisper before ending the call. Haru huffed in a subtle chuckle. Rin said nothing, only crossing his arms and looking very embarrassed. Makoto’s heart went out to the boy.

 

“Well, that’s not too surprising. I think I noticed I loved Haru in second grade too,” Makoto mused, turning his head to gaze down at the dark hair on his shoulder. Haru made a soft noise that made Makoto smile.

 

“I don’t know if we’re lucky or if we’re just plain weird,” Rin huffed. “I mean, what are the chances?”

 

“It makes sense,” Haru hummed, gently tugging Makoto back down onto the futon. Rin followed suit and sprawled out next to them, they all pulled their covers back up to keep warm.

 

“Haru?” Makoto wondered, turning to his best friend who merely curled around him until he was spooning the larger boy. Rin had curled himself around his pillow, watching the two, also waiting for an answer.

 

“Like-minded people tend to come together,” Haru answered. Makoto and Rin were stunned by the simple reply, before giving into a quiet laugh.

 

“I suppose so,” Makoto mumbled, kissing Haru’s forehead. Rin also made a noise of agreement.

 

“Alright, let’s sleep already. I’m really not looking forward to only having a few hours of sleep before those two idiots wake up.” Makoto and Haru hummed in solemn agreement.

 

“Goodnight Haru, Rin,” Makoto smiled to himself, closing his eyes and feeling more at home and relaxed than he had in a long while. Rin grunted a goodnight and Haru just pressed himself closer.

 

All that doubt and pain had seeped out of Makoto in such a sudden rush that he felt like it was stupid to have held onto them for so long. He felt silly for having kept silent. His mother had already explained to him long ago that communication was needed for any relationship to stay healthy. He promised himself he’d be a bit more open with his own doubts and troubles in the future. His friends would surely help him through it, no matter what.


End file.
